Mama Bross’ festive jeer
by Larah Bross | 17 Dec 2018
Hey Bagel Lovers,
I’ll be honest… I’m almost over Christmas for the year already. It’s amazing the type of behaviour that all of a sudden becomes permissible – just because it’s the festive season. At no other point in the year would you even consider a jumper like that or ice skating outside in public, drinking alcohol with egg in the title, pretending you like most of your relatives and want to buy them gifts?!…. the list goes on…, I blame Santa… he’s just a flamboyant house breaker with diabetes when you really get down to it… I probably should stop telling my kids that though…
It’s been a busy ol’ time here at Bross Bagels. We officially launched our upstairs eating area in Leith and then we dashed across town to open our new store in the West End.
I won’t lie. It’s been a busy old year. I mean I remember a year not so long ago when my greatest accomplishment was that I got through 12 months with a pretty strong grip on my cheese intake. I’ll be honest – I was over the moon about that at the time. I hi-fived the shit out of it. Now I have a bagel empire and lactose intolerance… the times they are a changing…
I was heartened this month to find that I was not alone in my bagel obsession. The animal charity PETA suggested some alternatives to the everyday sayings we use involving in meat, for example; kill two birds with one stone becomes feed two birds with one scone. I had my doubts about that one as would anyone whose tasted my scones would testify. Bagels I can do – scones not so much… Killing the birds with the brick is definitely the more humane of these options. PETA also suggested that the phrase bringing home the bacon should be changed to bringing home the bagels. It won’t surprise you to know that I fully endorse this and have been forcibly scatter-gunning this phrase into all my conversations – though I should make clear that we have a number of bagels on offer with bacon in them… so it could be changed to, bringing home the bacon bagels, or if you’re a fan of the tongue twister – bringing home the Bross Bacon Bagel ya bass…
Which is not only charming but the alliteration makes it fun to say. If you could all remember just to drop that phrase into conversation between 6-20 times a day throughout the festive period then we should have gone some way to really helping out all the animals….
Just in case the pressures of the season are getting on top of you, here’s our new advert which I hope makes you smile. Hang on in there troops. We’re almost there….
“Follow mama bross on FB, TW and Insta – bringing bagel love to your mobile device… Don’t miss a pun! “ – The orifice of wisdom!
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